WTF!? Fellow blogger Sallee of The Highly Educated Housewife passed along a Stylish Blogger Award to me. I appreciate her kindness, though I think all of the fabulous San Diego sun is frying her brain, as I would not consider myself stylish in the fashion sense. Well, I guess I am if you consider Old Navy, Target and The Gap the ultimate houses of style... But, what I do possess is a fair amount of surliness. As I said to someone last week, "Sorry, I was just born this way - I'm sure that as a baby I always saw the bottle as half-empty."
Image credit: Doctored this original photo
There, that's better. So, now I'll graciously accept this Surly Blogger Award with the required "7 things about me" blog post. *sigh* Actually, who I am I kidding? This is kind of awesome - an excuse to talk about myself? Sweet.
1. I got married at the verrrrry young age of 21 to my soul-mate, Matt.
1a. I think the whole "soul-mate" concept is complete and total bullshit. I'm just happy that after 10+ years we can still make each other laugh and work together in raising some minimally-fucked-up kids.
2. My closest friends are gay (with the exception of my super feminine and heterosexual sister). Over the years, I've collected a dependable set of "main gays" - just imagine them as delicate Lladro pieces in a china cabinet - who are incredibly smart, dear, loving and deserving of every single right that Matt and I have.
3. I have a sick fascination with this site, and am convinced that the only way a mother-of-four could possibly constantly be doing this level of entertaining/gift-giving/crafting is if she was on some type of stimulant drug. Check it out, fellow moms - you will feel inferior in about 5.5 seconds.
4. In a mad rush to get out of my second-grade classroom and onto the playground I tried to jump over a hard-backed resin chair, ended up high-centered on it and managed to cut my labia through my jeans. (Too much information for you? Sorry, get over it, it's just too amazing of a story to not include.)
5. I have this thing about my Achilles tendon. As in - DON'T TOUCH IT - which stems from watching this movie.
6. My 4-year-old is really getting in the way of one of my favorite things: swearing. My beloved terms, "mother fucker, asshole, dipshit and son-of-a-bitch", have been replaced with "silly billy, big ol' meanie, grumpy pants and son-of-a-gun." I make up for this by swearing A LOT when I'm not around the kid - sorry to everyone who has heard me sound like a dirty sailor with Tourette's.
7. My penchant for useless knowledge is ridiculous. I'm pretty sure that if challenged to a pop culture trivia tournament I would kick some serious ass.
7a. I'm very modest.
Okay, I now pass this Stylish/Surly (whichever you like) Award to Angela over at Jensen Authenticity. There are so many excellent candidates, but, you see, Angela actually updates her snark-filled blog on a regular basis, unlike so many other lazy effers who are on the once-a-month updating schedule. LAME ASSES. And, as a bonus, Angela is gutsy. She takes on-the-sly photos with her iPhone, writes (too-often) about post-birth stretchy gauze underwear, and once in 2008 she made fun of a cheesy young mom's blog, which resulted in some threatening anonymous comments. It was fun to witness.