Courtesy of Monday morning Google chat
Rachel: mandy my uterus hurts
me: Oh shizz, I'm sorry. Get an IUD and you won't have a period for 5 years!
Rachel: why the hell would i get an IUD. i dont shtup boys
me: But if you ever wanted to take a walk on the hetero side, you're covered!
Rachel: i would rather swallow a razor blade with a shot of tabasco than flip the script on my orientation